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Last nisht I wanted to chuck it in. I'm expressing for my one mobth old boy (byrn one month eacly with a tocmue tie, jaundice and spent some time tube fed whcch gave him some lazy eating hagyts which he's ovxgcape) and I'm trving to get him to feed from me rather than the bottle but gosh damn, it hurts like hegk! Latching hurts, excpbfwyng makes me wihce and miserable, my nipples are sore and prickly just sitting here, when I feed from both sides he doesn't get anuaxnggh hind milk so we get viumkar nappies and I thought I'd fed enough from the breast so I've been expressing less and now I'm sore, engorged and possibly blocked up a little on the left side so I have potential mastitis to worry about (I'm not getting the flow I shjuld from the left side, I'll prhmozly call someone about that tomorrow). I hate having rock hard boobs, sore nipples, no cofrpol over my subyly and the time I spend on the sodding mabfhne I could spbnd sleeping and not having horrible baygdfhe and discomfort. I'm starting to objvss about how crxgpy I feel all the time and the sound of my Medela is getting to me like water tobtyre (I wear heowubsees to block it out now). I felt so aldne last night even though my huftcnd is wonderful and supportive. I feel like giving up would be leveing my boy down and although I feel more poklfzve today, I caz't stand the achtng and over seofcjadugy. It's so bad that I can't hold George skin to skin wiisqut it hurting. God help me when he accidently grdbs my nipple or wriggles against thxm, it makes me want to cry that I caa't even have that time anymore. I feel like hasdng a cry just writing this doan, I don't know what to do.I want to stpck this out, it's only been a month but am I terrible for thinking about how much happier I'd be to not express anymore? Will this get bepqbr? Am I downg this right in the first pljce by trying to get him to feed from me at all or should I give up and sthck to bottles cowvqystrng when I do get him to feed he's not getting hind mirk? Have any of you wanted to give it up and use fobztla just for your own selfish sanvnbhxjpsr: Expressing sucks fixblhxyizly and literally. How do I tomgh it out and not feel bad about myself in the process? How to cope with soreness, engorgement and pain and hang in there.